its been a while since my last posting, tryin to get my feelings all in
check and shit. but to be honest. im more confused about my feelings
when you fall head over heels with someone like i
did. it goin to take a lot to get them out ofyour head, HELL i was
even goin to move to be with him. i did alot for him and what i get. a
thanks and harrassed, my feelings beat down *whips a tear off* I now
know what it feels like when they say true Love really does hurt and
you cant forget them because i cant, I honestly cant, he got me more
then any other person in this world, hell i let him know things about
me people dont even get to see or know. after he left i had a break
hell, when i need him the most he turns away. I cant deal
with it anymore. I swear to god im goin to go insane if i think about
him anymore. Everything i talk to him, hear his voice it brings me one
step farther to that padded room
Like tonight, he called me i
seen him calling but i would not answer because i knew it was goin to
end up like the other times, him telling me he misses me and cant wait
to see me ect.
Im breaking down more and more on the inside,
putting up my wall farther so i wont let anyone in. becoming that
harden bitch i use to be because im afraid to do it again.
why im leaving for the weekend at the end of the month, good book, the
woods, people that love me for who i am, people i can talk to and not
be judge. Hell the mountians might due me some good,
I need it from the work, just to get away. i just really really hope they give it to me off.
as to you. you know who im talkin to, Dont you ever say those words to
me again. you dont mean them. I shaired my personal life with you, and
my feelings and you threw them out like they were nothing. Your just
like your friend. until you can actually grow up, and see what you do
to people, maybe its good i didnt answer your call. I probably would be
crying a hell of alot harder then i am now.
You dont get it. and honestly, i dont think you ever will...